Simple Tricks For Merging Two Households Into One

Moving in with someone? Chances are, between the two of you, you have more stuff than your new place can hold. But whose couch stays and whose couch goes? 

Merging your two households into one can be a difficult task. Not only do you have to adapt to sharing your things with someone else, you also have to make room in your life for that person’s prized possessions—and you might not love all of them. Try to keep in mind that merging households shouldn’t be about getting rid of things that one of you loves and the other hates; this isn’t a power struggle where the winner’s stuff stays, it’s a process of finding a balance that works for both of you. If you’re finding it stressful, a neutral third party such as a Professional Organizer might be able to talk you both through some decisions.

The first thing to do is seize the opportunity to edit your things, so you can get started with a clean slate.

First, DISPOSE AND RECYCLE — Some items need to be tossed out or recycled before you move. Don’t bring that out-of-date phone book with you, or any boxes of junk mail and old magazines. You’ll also want to be rid of hazardous items such as paint tins and dead batteries. This might be a good time to eliminate those shabby bed linens and the lamp that only works if you jiggle the cord.

Consider REPAIR — Don’t bring anything with you that doesn’t work. If you’re holding onto something that needs to be repaired, make your moving date the deadline for getting it done. If it’s not worth making the effort, maybe it’s not worth mending.

Next, PACK AND STORE — There are some items you won’t want to part with, but if you recognize that they don’t have a current use, now is the time to pack them up and discuss how and where you’re going to store them. Some of these things might be seasonal (holiday decorations, seasonal clothing and sports gear) and some might be sentimental (a wedding dress or childhood sports trophies). A sensible storage solution is essential for you to live in peace with each other’s treasures.

You’ll need to AVOID DUPLICATION — The trouble with merging households is that you often wind up with two of everything, especially small stuff like kitchen appliances and utensils.  You do not need two kettles, two toasters, two sets of salad tongs, or two egg beaters. To help you choose what to keep and what to donate or recycle, concentrate on the quality and condition of each item. Do make these decisions together (it’s not a good idea to throw things out without the owner’s participation) and respect each other’s possible sentimental attachments as you go, but don’t let sentiment overwhelm practical considerations.

You’ll also need to MAKE DECISIONS — Any move is a chance to start fresh, so make the hard decisions now about what’s really worth packing to bring and what you should give away.  With every item that you own, ask yourself: do you love it or like it? Have you used it in the past year? Do you truly need it? If you can’t answer yes to at least one of those questions, then it should go. Why fill your space with things you don’t like, don’t use, and don’t need? There are many places where you can donate your unwanted items. For example, the SPCA will take old blankets and towels. Gently worn women’s suits, shoes and accessories can go to Dress for Success.

Make your merge easier with a FLOOR PLAN — Draw a detailed floor plan of your new home (if possible, know the size of the rooms so you’ll know what will fit) and decide together how you’ll place your larger pieces of furniture. Try to be realistic about how much space you’ll have, and how much space each piece of furniture will take up. Assign each room a different colour and label the boxes by colour as you pack; this will help you keep track of what goes where, and it will also help your movers know where you want them to put things on moving day.

At the end of the day, merging two households together isn’t easy. Resisting change is natural, but try to stay open to discussion and new ideas. Work together, and take all the time you need to develop a new feel and look for your combined space.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 at 8:30 am and is filed under practical tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.